Where I grew up in Country NSW, one of the most coveted titles a gal could have was Country Showgirl. It was something young girls strived to achieve. And when I was 25, they asked me to enter. But I declined. The idea of losing was wayyyy tooooo embarrassing so I sat back and let someone else win. In the meantime, I looked up what a Country Showgirl did and what it meant. Because from what I heard, it was a glorified beauty contest and as long as your Dad and Granddad were farmers – you were in with a shot.
As an indignant Gen X woman who loved blasting a bit of Alanis Morrisette in my Datsun 280 CD player – I wasn’t going to participate.
I had morals, I had ethics, I was… full of shit.
It wasn’t Alanis that made me say no. It was that I didn’t think I was pretty enough, smart enough or articulate enough. How shit is that? Being a Country Showgirl actually means travel and opportunity and a chance to promote rural Australia. But I was hung-up on the smart/pretty/able to speak in proper sentences thing.
Entering my Elder-Era
Now that I’m more Country Show-Lady and less Country Show-Girl – I have learned that being embarrassed and unsure is bollocks. I’ve learned that I’m happy to be somewhat pretty, somewhat smart and somewhat articulate AND that the world needs more of women like us. Not quite, almost, kinda – but completely whole and real and fabulous. So I’m planning on aging dis-gracefully and loving it.
What does ageing disgracefully involve?
First of all – do more of what you want.
How much of each day do you spend taking care of, or thinking about other people? Even when you go to work – are you earning money for yourself or to help someone else? I would be sure that for most people (women in particular) spend the majority of their time taking care of others.
Lisa Scanlon, Director of Social Surveys and Statistics at the Australian Bureau of Statistics said that on average, females spent 4 hours and 31 minutes a day doing unpaid work activities while males spent over an hour less on these activities, averaging 3 hours and 12 minutes a day. Less than half of males (42 per cent) spent time on housework, compared to 70 per cent of females.
“Mothers spent an average of 3 hours and 34 minutes participating in child care activities a day, while fathers spent 2 hours and 19 minutes.”
It’s clear women bear most of the brunt of work on the homefront, and with so many women now in the workforce, it leaves little time for self-care.
The Australian Black Dog Industry says self-care is important to the life of every person.
Bringing more balance to your daily routine will help you be more productive and more resilient to stressors.
The Black Dog Institute
What does self-care and embracing aging mean for you?
It can mean taking time to learn a new skill, it can mean taking up a new hobby – or it can be as simple as learning to say no.
‘No’ to more work. ‘No’ to doing more for others and ‘no’ to putting yourself last.
So what steps can you take to embrace getting older and take more notice of what you want to do?
First – grab your trusty journal. Journalling has been known to help with mental health and can help clarify your goals. Write this in the first line: “If I died and was sent back to Earth and was able to do 5 things before dying again, what would I do?”
Biggie, huh?
I’d love to read your lists – here’s mine:
- Travel through Europe on a foodie tour
- Get a tattoo that’s not pretty or trendy but means something to me
- Take my children to a massive ocean, get them to lie on their backs and float around for a few hours – just being in the ocean
- Have a massive party with all my besties and loved ones – bugger the cost!
- And yeah – you know what? I’d bloody enter that Showgirl Competition!
